i hate guys.
my heart just sinks to the depths of my guts
and my blood just boils a few hundred degrees higher.
anxiety wells up and dies down
only to be followed by a huge wave of anguish
and a tsunami of heart ache.

1 guy is no different from the other.
all are full of bullshit
no one is truthful, no one keeps their promises.

-

the human race was born to lie.

today hubby has passing out parade!
what does that mean??
haha.. school has been like crap. the weather is getting colder.. BUT it's still wiltingly HOT! i hate PEC240. especially the labs. nuts. i don't like any of the units the sem. i wanna go home! T_T sobs...
dance has been fun. haha... need to get new shoes cos i dont know where my second pair in singapore has gone to. but i'm not going to buy Bloch. I hate Bloch!!! I'll try Grishko or something. I still like Katz better, but they are hard to find. LOL...
Miss hubby muchly!!
I shall go and bathe now. haha.. later going to town with my sis. hopefully tonight will be nice and cold again. Tml, DIM SUM!! AWESOME!!

In yesterday land, it was hubby and my 2nd anniversary! how time flies! yay!! I've known him for 4 years and been with him for 2 and COUNTING!! happy happy me! :D Happy Anniversary sweetie!
School has started already. Spent the first week mainly sleeping in Bodies of Evidence, and learning how to count in Analytical Chemistry. Hopefully it all gets better by this week. Bodies of Evidence is the coolest thing i've come across so far. I'm lost with Forensic DNA Analysis. Craps!
Anyway, for those who are wondering if i'm still in the clutches of the evil Aunty Lily. Well, I'M NOT!!! The wicked witch of the gingerbread house has set me free!!! (Alas hansel and gretel have long left their humble abode).
After this week, is 2 more weeks to the first study break. Which, "incidently" due to Bodies of Evidence, we who take that unit, DON'T HAVE ONE. Nutters.
Anyway, have i mentioned that i've started driving? no, apparently not, i think. I haven't updated since 6dec. Oh golly... just before i left for Hokkaido. was it fun? NOOOOOO... i'm pretty sure i don't feel like going back there on tour unless it's a sashimi tour or shopping spree. Otherwise i'll just keep to the more populated parts of japan. ><
ok. gotta go. i'm running low on water AND i'm meeting Zoe tomorrow for church and to pass her things and i've also go driving lessons. Back to Welshpool. I hate driving.

oh my gosh!!
i'm so happy!! i finally got to see and hug my dearest hubby today!! he's so skinny now!! totally cheated me!! he's flat!! and bony!! ROAR... but i'm so happy to see him again!! just overwhelmed with happiness!
tomorrow there is a birthday lunch and hubby will be joining!! man, i love him so much. then night time i'll be leaving for Hokkaido till the 13th. hubby will be POP-ing on the 10th, going to Hokkaido on the 12th to the 19th. haha... it's a well deserved break. i hope i can spend lots of time with him when he gets back! :D
i can't bear to part with him again when summer break ends. the thought of it just sickens me. further more there are so many important dates that i won't be around to share with him and i feel so bad. it hurts me inside. sigh... but i'll be back in June!! and hopefully i can come back for his 21st birthday, even if it means skipping school for a few days. but we shall see how that pans out first. GOSH!! i can't wait to see him tomorrow! it feels like forever...
missed him and love him so very much. i feel that it's utterly unfair for me to go back in the beginning of feb. i don't like it and i resent it very much. plus my parents make it seem like i'm obligated to go, but i'm actually sarcificing my holiday so that my mom doesn't have to take too much leave from work to accompany my sis over. well then, some people are just darn plain ungrateful. they expect me to sarcifice things for them, when they don't even appreciate it or even let me do what i like.
P.S. heads up, parents. talking about responsibility, why i said you guys have so little of it.. here is how it goes.
I am responsible to you and to myself. only when i feel that i'm responsible for myself then i'll be responsible for others.
Mom, on the otherhand, is responsible for others, but not for herself. the way i see it is, if you can't be responsible for yourself then you are in no position to be responsible for others. you're not responsible for yourself, because you jolly well know that you have work in the morning, but then you stil want to stay up late making bracelets, playing facebook or dotblu and then end up falling sick. lack of sleep, falling sick, how in the world is that responsible? plus if you're tired and sick, how can you be responsible for the lives of your patients and on top of that, your own safety when you drive in the car to and fro from work. so don't bullshit about responsibility when you can't even handle your own.
the worse is, the lack of responsibility in bringing up your own two children. i remember and recall very clearly that most of my childhood was spent either at tuition or tuition or tuition and the maid (which ever maid). the maid was the one who always looked after me. mummy or daddy? hmm... seen but never really looked after by them for a long long long while. even after my sis was born. it was just tuition and maid. that's it. mummy daddy? oooh... thought children with chubby little hands and feet were fun, but actually nurturing them and spending lots of quality time was NOT SO important as work.

now whose the one who lacks responsibility? tsktsk.. somemore for 2 kids leh. what nonsense you preaching man... wake up and smell your own shit.
at least i'm responsible for me and i make my decisions and regret it. you just push the blame around or just pretend it doesn't exist and try to make it up MUCH later in life, by then it's not exactly the most appreciated thing in life. dunno how to plan, don't have kids. i seriously have never felt such distaste in the way i see you guys. it's like cock telling bull he looks like a chicken...

summer hols will suck big time this year.

OK, i think some of you have received this email, but i think it's so dumb yet so true. hahaha...
(To the tune of We Are Singapore)

WE ARE CHIN KANG KOR
There was a time when people said that bus fares won't increase ... but it did
There was a time when people think that CPF contributions won't decrease but it did
We build a nation with nothing free
Reaching out together, for all your money

This is my country, this is my flat
Is there any future, or is this a lie
What happen to my family, what happen to my friends
We're Chin Kang Kor, Chin Kang Kor

Singapore, our homeland, it's here that we're conned
All of us united, one people struggling on
We worked so hard together, what have we achieve
Singapore forever, a nation with price increase

COUNT MONEY SINGAPORE
You and me, our jobs to part
Stand together, crying our hearts
We're going to show the world what retrenchment can be
We can achieve, we can achieve
There is something in the Toto booth that we can strike for
We were told of 4D dreams that we could try for
There's a spirit in the air
It's a retrenchment feeling we all share
We're going to put a bigger stake for you and me
Hope to win, hope to win

Count money, Singapore
Count wrongly and you'll lose even more
Count on me to give my savings and more
Count money, Singapore

-the end-
p.s. i'm not patriotic. so there.

woah.. my muscles ache so badly... and i have these random abdominal pains that come on and off. i've already gone to the toilet to poo... but it still comes... maybe it's the ab workout yesterday. i dunno...
went to freo and subi with geri. then we went to the city. my stomach hurts so badly... bought fairies for patrick and some other things. lol... very painful... very tired now... i don't know why... shall go sleep...
i miss my hubby dear...

Today was an awesomest awesome day!
went to a warehouse place today. aunty pris took geri and i and this other lady. very big!! and i've never seen crates and crates from floor to ceiling of food and pads!! it was WOW!! can soak up the Dead Sea. LOL...
after that went to Taurus to eat lunch. Den went to school to get the bank draft for nufuu's school fees and went to Murdoch College to hand it in. Geri helped me to collect my sparkling juice from Caleb. Thanks girl.
Tomorrow Hazel will be leaving. Hope she has a safe flight. and, Hazel if you're reading, i need your address.
Met Zoe in the city for Boost juice den we went for our Firestarters class.
there was 13 ladies altogether. and it was so fun! seriously!! i love the warmup exercises and the polemoves. but i don't like the lap dancing... so now i know how to do two pole twirls. Our teacher, Erica, at the end of the session, gave a full lapdance and poledance combo. oh my gosh! so flex and so graceful... i was totally awed! i'm going to go back next sem and learn. meanwhile, i dunno if ee-ee wants to learn or not. cos that was kinda of hanging in thin air, the last time i spoke. but gosh! it's so fun!! although parts of my body aches, it's awesome!! totally!!
Packing is a disaster. sigh... im repacking and it seems to work. but it also seems like ive been asked to buy more things. ok la, hopefully can fit >< and don't exceed.
i'm looking forward and not looking forward to going home. at home, i'm insignificant. i think my family thinks i'm stupid or something cos i can't seem to follow their logic. i can't help it if i look through the mirror through the other side. doesn't make sense den it doesn't. plus i dont talk bull 99% of the time. i talk bull 35% of the time, the rest if facts but i'mbeing dead sarcastic about it, or am entirely joking. i'm blunt and i cant help it. if i think you're stupid, i'll say it, or if i think you're different from before i'll say it. but for goodness sakes, i'm not dumb. like helloooooooo... just cos i don't follow doesnt mean i'm dumb.
on the contrary i'd think you're being very shallow and 'safe'. and, i can't help it if i randomly talk about something out of the blue. it just clicks in my head den PRESTO!! i have something to say. i can't help it. cos if i dont say it, i'll forget and then it may never come back. it's riddiculous. the world is confusing, and my head has many things going through it all at once. and even though i'm angry and i sound illogical, instead of being serverly closed minded and cynical and disgustingly 'safe', listen to what i say and heed it. cos it may safe you a damn lot of time, and maybe redeem yourself with me. otherwise i may think that you're not only very shallow or 'safe', but very stupid and so afraid of loosing face when you face up to facts. and i thought that you guys were supposed to have taught me how to live... i think i taught me how to live. guidance, never was there. tuition was all there was. paranoia was always there and will still
always be. it's quite strange... i for one, never learnt responsibility cos there was nothing to be responsible for... isn't that ironic.
so....... don't think i'm stupid when i spout things out of the blue or don't catch what you're saying. maybe.... you're the who's brain isnt working. but wait, i look through the otherside of things. forgive me, i'm not you. i don't understand your logic. i see black and white or white and black, not the shades of grey inbetween. the only grey i know, exists in my brain. it's called, GREY MATTER.

that day, there was a two faced cat that was born in perth. it's quite strange yet quite cute.
luckily you have to only feed 1 mouth. not like the three headed dog in Harry Potter.
just imagine a 3 headed cat.. if they each had one brain each.
Head 1: I wanna go there!
Head 2: I wanna go there!
Head 3: No i wanna go there!!
Head 1: in that case guys, we'll stay put. *sits and sulks*

or
when being attacked by an enemy
Head 1: I'll sing Opera, you sing Rolling stones and you, recite Shakespeare.

the cat wouldn't be an it, it would be a them! plus you'd have to feed 3 heads!

now, imagine them with 1/3 of a brain each:
Head 1: I wanna
Head 2: go to
Head 3: where????

or if they are being attacked by an enemy:
Head 1: twinkle
Head 2: twinkle
Head 3: *snore*

so much for the confusing tactic...

i just realised why i keep saying 'stupid only gets you that far'. it's a few reasons really. and here is my opinion about aussies. i'm not racists or anything, just that i pluck things out of the air and poof they all make sense. so this entry goes to the aussies. since i don't have any aussie friends, i can't offend them too much by saying this. so, if i do have aussie friends, then this entry maybe taken down. i do have british friends, so maybe they won't be too offended on their aussie counterparts. whatever.
i remember geri telling me that donna told her that aussies are P.O.W (Prisoners of War, for those acronym idiots out there). and that fact i remember reading some where as well. now lets see about their mutation rate and thus intellectual capacity. a small group of POWs were set on this little island inhabited by the aboriginals. so now, in order to propagate during that time and to get rid of all the work tension and frustrations of their captivity, they had sex thus propagated and thus, the start of the australian colony. if each man had a woman, then that would be fine. but if one man was related to another man, in anyway, then genetic diversity wouldn't exactly be very diverse. and when the progeny of these two men, mated, then woosh!! gene frequency decreases, so you have these cross-bred individuals. and generally cross-bred individuals tend to have something more wrong in any aspect than anyone else.
now see, if that initial population were mating randomly and thus spouting random progeny who then randomly mated upscale or downscale of each other, then you have a colony of totally inbred individuals. this situation probably had the highest probability of occurring. but, dear friend hazel told me that there was a family lineage that was more susceptible to genetic mutation cos they were all made up of inbred individuals. thus, Shed E. (another interesting story all together.)
so, in terms of intelligence, although there has been no genetic linkage, thus far that i have read, between individuals, then this isnt a fair judgment. but still, if mummy was dumb and so was daddy, then whatever they taught their kids during that time, was as much information as their slow witted brains could take, whether their children were more intelligent or not. and then whatever they learnt during their lifetime and passed it on to their children would then result in their own mentality and thus intelligence. now then, there was school. but say we don't take schooling into consideration. so you have this population of relative intelligence people going about mating with each other, resulting in more and more mutation going on...
skipping ahead by a little, yesterday i met this new girl, called winnie, no idea where she's from, but she seems to know quite a bit. so she was saying that aussies know asians are asians cos we shorten the words when we speak, so we don't pronounce 't', 's', 'p' etc... which i true. we learnt the lazy way from american rapping... like goin', coz, ya, yo (instead of hello) etc... so we say:
Asian: hey do u wanna go swimmin?
Aussies: hey maTe-uh, do you wanna go swimming?
ok so fine, we shorten what we say, but when i was listening to the radio last night, the aussies OVER pronounce their words. like we're taught the British way of speaking since we were kids, so January is pronounced as jan-ur-ry. aussies who are british by decedent pronounce jan-ew-air-ry. and they cant understand what we're saying cos we speak too quickly as well. lets do it the chinese main land way: 'time vely short. evely thin'g fasfas. tok faster dun dillydally. i no time to tok so slowly with you white people' *squints eyes smallsmall*.. it's true, time is precious, so don't waste my time waiting for you to pronounce an additional syllable in every word in your sentance. you kind of just make it longer than it already is.
like pronouncing: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. aussies probably pronounce it soup-per-cahli-frah-gahlistic-expi-eh-li-dough-cious. it's like dude!! what happens when it's: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
the longest word in the dictionary. it's seriously a matter of being able to keep up with the times. they can afford to waste so much time having slow conversations cos their working hours are so short and have a non-existant night life. i'm thinking, in places like melb, the night life extends probably past 5.30pm. in relation to intelligence, there isn't any. but probably if you did spend less time talking so slowly, comprehending so slowly, you'd be much faster and more efficient and would probably have more information in your head by now and you probably wouldn't be one of the most obese countries in the world, if you were on your toes, shopping and not sitting at home being a couch potato wriggling your toes.
another thing that bugs me is, australian racism. australians, some, are so racist, they are racist against themselves. it's ok to be snotty and not help foreigners, but it's NOT OK to NOT help out people of the same race and goodness! SAME COUNTRY! it's ridiculous! it's like watching fat tubby kids smashing each other's faces in just cos they want a piece of candy. DUDE, i know you're isolated from the rest of the world, until the bird flu can't get you, but you're living and breathing the same air, drinking the same water as everyone else. you don't want to change your mentality against other people coming into your country, den well, sad to say, the rest of the world, IS evolving, whether you like it or not. and for goodness sakes, i'd stand on the side of the aboriginals, cos i think they are fantastic people. if you HATE the idea of foreigners coming into your land, think about how the ABORIGINALS felt when your ancestors came into their land and denied them of their rights. GUESS WHAT YOU WHITE MORONS, England set a rule where if the island was occupied, then the people who colonize the land, will follow the occupants rules and way of life. but YOUR STUPID ANCESTORS, since they didn't know or didn't bother to understand the aboriginal culture, robbed the rights of the ORIGINAL inhabitants of this land and the new colony of England, used its own set of rules and threw the aboriginals to one dusty corner.
so much for your 'GO back to CHINA!' and you people SHOULD enhance your geography and common knowledge a little and learn how to differentiate between CHINA morons and other asians. not EVERYONE is from CHINA. and for goodness sakes, some of us, HATE CHINA. so if you don't want anyone to think that aussie is colonized by a whole population of dumb blondes, go prove yourselves wrong (or dye your hair black, like how all of you do and dress up like us asians).
and when you accuse us for wasting your time, due to your own racism and stupidity, think about how much more of our time you're wasting, you slow dim witted herd of albino cows.